Reverend Bryan's Pulpit no. 1

Hmm, my first column for a brand new Online magazine dedicated to and about Artcars.

I am very honored to have been asked to write it.  We shall see how long I can do this without being fired.

I should start a Pool.  Everyone puts in a buck and picks a date for sometime over the next three months when it is announced “my services are no longer needed”.  I guess it would be largely unfair for me to get in on this.  Shoot.  Nevermind then.

And before I do nudge a smidgen closer to anything remotely resembling an actual topic I do just want to say, you are RIGHT, Paul.  Artcar is ONE word.  Not two, one, like lawnchair for instance.  Two perfectly nice words all by themselves lawn and chair, but when shoved together make something new and exciting!!  A CHAIR SPECIFICALLY FOR LAWN USE!!!  Or ashtray .  A very specific item.  Sandbox, by themselves two kind of, well, go nowhere nouns but cram them into one another and you now have a place of Adventure!!  Of Wonder!!  Where Imagination holds no bounds or restrictions.  These words are all meant to be with one another.  Earring, toothbrush, newspaper, pigtail, ladybug, eyebrow, handshake are all words that not only turn a Beacon of  Righteous Light over my argument but words that enrich our lives every day just as our artcars enrich our lives.  To the Artcar, I Salute You!!
 
OK, now what was the question?

Oh yeah, what to talk about for the first Artcar online magazine?

How about I share a few of my memories about the very first ARTCAR Parade the Orange Show put on back in 1988?

My very first recollection of that day is sitting on the hood of my 76 Vega at the corner of Bell and Travis at 6:45 A fucking M waiting for Sharon K. and Susanne D. to show up so we could get started.  Keep in mind, this Parade, that was about to be launched for the first time, had been put planned, manned and recruited by a handful of people who had never PUT ON a parade so we really had no idea what we had been doing.  There were no How to Put On A Parade books available so we just sort of made it up as we went along, and you know, it worked.  I mean sure there were some bubbles that first year, (more people were IN the Parade than actually SAW the Parade that year.  Businesses along the Main St parade route had not been informed of a parade and some owners came out and start yelling at us, to name a few,) but we still got through it.  Sure, it could hardly have been considered a hit as only a handful of folks actually saw the Parade and if you ever get a chance to watch the footage from that first year, carefully pay attention to the deserted sidewalks along the way.  A couple people here or there but basically deserted. But when we had finished, no one died, music played, people laughed and Susanne may have cried at one point but it was over.  I was happy it was over and  I was ready to Party!!  And I did!!

Some moments that stick out in my mind.  Watching Paul Kittleson pull a large hand made crocodile on wheels with Jackie Harris riding atop of it.  BrianBryan, with his 101 Howdy car.  The Essendon Police Women’s Marching Band from Australia sponsored by the West End Theatre.  Find out later it’s a bunch of blokes in drag but they were freaking hysterical.  Pretty decent musicians as well but lordy, unbelievably funny.  Saw them put on half a dozen impromptu shows around the festival that weekend and they were always unspeakably funny.  George and Dave (friends from KPFT) walking down the street, one wearing a eyeball head from the Residents and playing a snare drum and Dave playing a saxaphone very very badly.  We kind of let anyone in that first year.

After the Parade itself was over I barely gave it much thought the rest of the weekend.  Again, it really didn’t seem to be that big of deal.  No one saw the parade, it was a LOT of extra work for months in advance so I had no feelings of expectations afterward.  It was only when we started talking about the next year’s parade and changes that might occur and things that we might be able to do and who we might try to get and suddenly  I had an inkling of what it might someday become.  I was still WAAAY off in my estimates. But yeah, after the first year, I had NO idea what it would lead to or become.  In a future column I hope to share the story about how after one meeting with the Festival committee, Susanne telling me I would probably not be needed to actually attend any more meetings.  Looking back on it, good call on her part.

So there ya’ go.  That's some of my memories of the first artcar parade.  Thanks for letting me share them with you.
 
You know, how about next month I give a sort of history lesson about Artcars in Houston?  I've been around this scene longer than almost anyone.  There are some things that many of you might not have heard before. 

Until then, Glue It To It